I wish there was a canvas that people could be given to empty their brain into. I think most people would end up with a Thomas Kincaid sort of dreamscape almost certainly including at least one "animal spirit" and a little corner of the picture with a pile of waste to represent the foul parts of the world. I have no idea what mine would be like and that is why I'd like this.

I really like the unknown. I'm very quick to discard the dressings of meaning and purpose that people throw onto any given part of existence, so nothing stands the test of my brain when it comes to interest (given I actually have it processing, which is a rarity). Having said that I also like the feelings of exertion and danger, because I am stuck in a human body that likes those things because its retarded and out of date on an evolutionary scale. Given this I really think I should have been born a good 200 years or so in the future when space travel and exploration is a real profession and not an expensive and fruitless death sentence. I would probably be dissapointed though and I bet my 200 year future self would yearn for some other far off thing.

I came up with a basis for the plotline of the book idea Ive had forever, but Im sure Itll fade like all my ideas do with time. Another wish for the brain dump factory.

Absolute darkness and unfathomable cold! Step up Agnes you're our next lucky contestant right after the Orion nebula finishes playing the game with the mountain climber dude made of cardboard or something. Honestly we represent the vastness and the infinite reaches of space itself is this the best we can do? Sigh; anywho we'll be back after these short words from our sponsors.

Placement 1
-----------

*HIGH PITCHED WAILING GNAWS AT THE BACK OF YOUR SOUL FOR WHAT SEEMS TO BE FULL MINUTES OF TIME THOUGH YOUR MIND KNOWS IT CLOSER TO FRACTIONS OF SECONDS. THE NOISE IS LIKE A RAZOR CUTTING THROUGH TINFOIL CUTTING THROUGH A DIAPER FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH THE WASTE OF SOME BIZARRE FOIL RAZOR EATING GOLEM.*

Spokesman: (said in the span of 2 seconds) SEND ME 20 DOLLARS OR I WILL CONTINUE TO PURCHASE AD TIME.

Placement 2
-----------

Suprise! it is an actual blog post haha! you thought I was just going to do this jank. nosir.

I have not written in some time. Even the writing of the fabulous dork for that matter since I've been on a rather nice vacation for the past week. I really need to start getting more sleep so this sort of thing doesn't seem difficult. Besides that things are cool stuff.

Getting married in 3 weeks omgomg I know like right. But for real that'll be fun.

Instead of telling myself I'm going to ever write a book I'm going to aim for short stories. That I know I can actually do since most of what I think of is in that form already really.

The people hunting website is comin along at a snail's pace mostly because I'm always busy whenever I plan to do any work on it. And because I'm lazy as all hell.

Work is a bowl of sunshine and rasberry puddin doncha know.

I never have much to say in these anymore. Then again my posts when I did were either thinly veiled metaphors for my relationship woes or just pure "comical" nonsense (which is a thinly veiled metaphor for my drywall fan-fiction fetish. If you're curious "bob does some drywall" is IMHO the cornerstone of this century in drywall/home repair fan-fiction. Is there some generally understood rule on how long a parenthetical statement is suppose to go? Probably not several sentences. I would bet my honor as a scholar and gentlemen [I am told I am both of these {by people ((mostly ladies)) } ] that I have gone far to long).

Not sure why I'm still up writing this. I'm going to not be that anymore! By Sleeping! Huzzah!

Yea I haven't posted much. Ive been busy doing really boring stuff. To give you an idea of just how boring and/or furstrating whatever the stuff I've been doing is consider the following:

The red squigly line underneath the word frustrating up above this sentence is reminding me of fat people and I'm not going to correct it because fuck you spellchecker maybe I meant to do that, yea how about that.

But actually some of its been fun. I love the whole vps thang for the wew site, its so neat. Work work is off and on. I spent almost the whole week more or less bugging a dude, all over his shoulder YOU DONE YET...YOU DONE YET... and that was literally what I was told to do by my bosses.

Why do people think it is a good idea to start a conversation with me? It is a terrible idea ask anyone, wait, make sure you know them before you ask them BECAUSE YOU DONT KNOW THEM WIERDO STOP IT. But really, without fail I get approached by a human at the gym or at Target once a week and its really wierd and I am so confused. At the gym its always pretty easy to just look away and go back to pretending my arms have gears in them but at Target its just insanely awkward becaue I want to look at products and I DON'T KNOW YOU DUDE. I think the last two guys were Marine enlistment people and just never got up the balls to do the whole "HEY SON YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT BEING A REAL MAN LULZ" speech. About 4 weeks ago one was at Best Buy (They love the video game aisles at stores) and asked me "Like video games? What kinds do you play?" and I could tell he was a Marine enlister dude so I said "Everything but shooters" and he just walked away without a word. It was glorious.

Even so I'd care alot less if they actually had a reason to want to talk to me. Its always just them asking "oh how are you?" questions like an old friend would ask BUT THEY ARE WIERD BALDING GUYS AT TARGET AND BEST BUY DAMNIT I HAVE NEVER SPOKEN TO THEM I SWEAR WHAT HAPENS ON CRAIGSLIST STAYS ON CRAIGSLIST.

No really though. Stop it dudes.

Today was a bit different. Two super sketch dudes approached me in the frozen foods aisle (If I had a nickel for every time amiright?) and said they would give me a 25$ gift card to target for 10$. They said they needed it for gas money and they had been asking people for liek an hour and target wouldnt let them trade it for money. So I did it because of the following thought process:

- Case: They are lying:
- Result: I have enough money to not care
- Case: They are telling the truth:
- Result: I get free shrimp and burritos and can suck my own
good samaritan dick all in one fell swoop

The card did indeed have 25$ on it. So it was the best of all words. There should be a Chance card like that in modern Monopoly games.

Anyway, I'm supposed to post here more again. Whtvr

I was angry today at work. I walked to my car angry.

Really its because I felt dumb. Because for some reason I was supposed to know about a hack then add a feature to a hack that I had no prior knowledge of somehow and then the phrase "iso-8601' was essentially brushed on to me as though id heard of it (maybe I should have? I don't know), and then people rapid fire emailed/texted/mouthflapped me about the same issue until eventually one got irritated enough to provoke my boss, whom I like alot, to have to chat with me about the whole mess. I admit I should have reviewed the history of emails for that issue, because I did send off a response too fast. I don't know, I just get frustrated when I get lots of varying input from multiple people on the same thing and I get put in a hole where I can't move till someone gets back to me. I like to work. I hate to wait to work, especially when all I can do without aggravating someone is wait on other people.

Also while I'm at it, the only other thing I dislike is when people point out problems/bugs in code RELATED to what I'm doing, but not at all anything I've touched or even looked at. Especially when its implied its my fault. That is so obnoxious.

Also I feel like people hate me/feel like I'm dumb. But I always feel like that so that is moot.

Later tonight if I'm up for it I'll make a "good" post here.

I'm probably lying but you're probably fat.

One of the bodiless observations I'm making recently is that its really easy to think you're playing life when you're playing a video game thats alot like life and will coincidentally further your progression in life.

I need to get more sleep. I just wasted an hour looking up ways to get by with less sleep or to force sleep. I'd like to just be big mr.toughballsmcgee about it and go to sleep more but that upsets my brain and he makes me restless. He is truly a cruel barber of my brain hairs my brain he is.

Anywho I decided that our planet needs to go ahead and extend its spin time enough that there are 8 more hours in the day anyway so that is moot. As soon as I get this memo off to the sun I'm sure he'll put Earth in her place.

Arg complaints complaints.

Oh btw hi internet journal I missed you, not as much as I missed shaving my arms with that magical cream that black people use that smells awful and burns, but still I missed you I guess.

I personally believe that 2 gods sprung from the eternal nether of the void in the beginning. Brothers if you will.

Of the bothers the first was the prodigy among the other non existant metaphysical forms of intelligent thought that would be compared to him. He possessed a vast knowledge of the passage of time and all matter that would inhabit it through its span. All that would come to be and could ever be was by his will and infinite grasp.

His brother took a dump on the kitchen floor of god's one bedroom apartment and it was just awful.

So god had to find a way to occupy his little brother while he tried to get accepted into god college (which is like our college but the essays have to be twice as long and they make you use a really weird MLA format that noone agrees on even at Heaven University.)

And thus our world and plane of existance was formed as a primitive toy for the finite god to mindlessly tinker with while his brother took god exams (which our like our exams but made out of the visible spectrum and different types of gas which are exploding. )

But instead he took a dump on us and real god ended up paying a guy he met behind the tastee freeze to suffocate him with a trash bag.

The End.

I'm not afraid of dying anymore and I'm not afraid of a challenge.

I mean, I'm still not sure what I want though.

Thats a lie, the truth is there just aren't many options for someone who wants an average day to go like

run an obstacle course
program a machine to navigate a maze
assemble a solar panel
throw car engines into smelters
talk about moral implications of artificial intelligence
(and all non-human sentient life for that matter)
data entry
learn Japanese
make a script to do said data entry
debug something all cleverish (you know, the kind of clever that is bad)
climb a mile long rope

Or something to that effect. I just want to be something more I guess. I feel like I could be something more.

Not sure.

About what I mean when I say not sure.

I could be talking about whether I know what I'm talking about or not.

In fact, I am!

I want something.

I feel warm, tired, and stressed. I don't know where the last one is from. I don't have alot of work to do. I'm doing fine at work. I just feel like I've done something wrong or I'm putting something off. I don't know.

Boring I know sorry. I'll brb with something cool next time.

How did it get to 11:22 pm? I distinctly remember it being 10:00 not a moment ago.

How did a rhino fit himself into my bad of candy that I use to console the children kept in my space heater?

He didn't. Thats how. I win.

Dane Cook is lookin rough. Oh i get it rough around the edges haha clever GET A FUCKING JOKE DUDE THEYRE CALLED JOKES WRITE THEM THEN TELL THEM TO LARGE GROUPS OF PEOPLE FOR MONEY I HATE YOU GO TO SIZZLERS AND CRY INTO YOUR PLATE OF "STEAK".

I don't know what that meant.

So I still crave more out of life. As I see it my options are basically the following:

1. Start taking classes in electrical engineering/core comp sci/ systems administration. This is a good choice bc I am doing this jazz now except for the first one and I find it cool and could certainly stand to gain from it.

2. Take martial arts/ work out 2 hours a day instead of 45 min. This would be mostly for my own enjoyment and I wouldnt gain much except bein more ripped and all omgs, but i dont think i need that really.

3. Learn to accept my writing style so I can actually work on my book idea. I would like to do this but I write like a pubescent 9th grader and theres no avoiding that. It reads like I'm just INSISTING that what I'm writing is awesome and thats bad.

4. Start playing with stocks and such. I have been looking at a group of stocks and if I had invested 1000 dollars 3 months ago I would now have 900. Thats way less than everyone else lost I think :o.

5. Continue playing WoW. I have 3 pieces of t7. I got a quote on my char and i could probly get like 2-300 bucks. that is some sweet monies, but me and katrina play alot and we have fun on it alot. I dunno.

Meh back to reading docs on a project I have at work. Its cool actually. I'm lucky I program in Python.

I'm starting to feel better again. Not like I was feeling bad before and I'm honestly not sure if I still even bring it up but for maybe the last year and a half or so I just haven't felt very much. Its not depression or anything sad, just sort of a lack of recognition that I exist or that anything really matters.

But lately I'm feeling feelings again. I find things funny and I truly feel the urge to do productive things instead of just forcing myself too (this doesn't really show bc I am ze disciple meister and I work even if I don't know where I am or why I'm working). I don't really feel like wasting as much time wowing, though I'll def get on to help Katrina w her guild raids bc a bf gotta do what a bf gotta do ya knows. Also bc I have to play wow to legitimately do our wowmance channel.

I want to plan more trips and vacations and stuff. Next time I do vegas im bringing nose filters and a camelback and it will be perfect. I had alot of fun and I miss my family alot now, I think I might try to cajole Katrina into going to wburg for a visit this weekend actually.

Michael comes so we can go to the brit-brit circus pretty soon too, but we also need to plan some sort of future vacation especially since he and drew are big bad college grads now.

I guess the main thing is that for the first time in probably years I want more. I really honestly want more. I don't know how to clarify or expand on that or what it is I want exactly but I feel excitement and passion and anger again and I'm really glad and I want to keep going back to how I was instead of actually having to try just to be me.

Also: I was offered a ten dollar "massage" by an elderly chinese fellow in Vegas. I had to share for the benefit of all.

The subject line was filled in for me. Thank you firefox that was really helpful that was just as helpful as saving my entire credit card number on my browser without asking me so I could pay mah bills faster lolol technology fuck you.

I'm leaving tuesday to go to Vegas with mah family and I have informed the loverly katrina that I will be hiring no less than 3 transves-tite hookers to sing the pledge of allegiance to me in my hotel room while I dine on a lamb shank and watch recreations of gladiator fights. Really though we're going to Texas De Brazil Wednesday when we arrive so that is worth all the trips in the world, and seeing Penn and Teller front row.

I hope noone ever makes me whatch the movie "What Happens In Vegas". It looks just awful really.

I will miss katrina, we did her b-day stuff this weekend! Took her to Occoquan for spa treatment and lakeside lunch and gave her new webcam and perfume, tommy girl cuz it be mah favorite of the gurl smells. She gaves me kierra cologne and a picture of her and new sunglasses and an awwwesome new starbucks thermos that is all manly and awesome, and also coffee bc im an adult oh god I need to lock myself in a closet pondering once insignifigant instances from my childhood analyzing them for what went wrong while drinking my coffee and writing a memo in the office and paying bills and wathcing dateline.

JK life is awesome basically. And Dateline is awesome too so stfu.

I want to see our first episode of wowmance too graaar!

1. What's your name?
Arbuckle Fist Moisturizer

2. What is your favorite thing to wear?
A spacesuit filled with bleach up to my chin

3. Last thing you ate?
Some noodle soup katrina brought over I forgot about

4. One place you will NEVER eat at?
McDonalds. I would rather eat my own vomit. Not yours, but in all honesty my own.

5. I say Shotgun, you say:
Meh meh meh

6. Last person you hugged?
Katrina

7. Does anyone you know wanna date you?
Yes. There is this guy at Target who watches me whenever come to a register and I can tell he is thinking "oh oh god please my register PLEASE MY REGISTER."

8. Would you date anyone you met online?
Only if I met them online with ebay and they were selling me a susan serandon dart board.

9. Name something you like physically about yourself:
my body's insistance that it constantly needs delicious food and no sleep.

10. The last place you went out to dinner to?
Panera or Sakura I dun remember.

11. Who is your best friend?
Michael and Drew and Katrina and Heather because one person being my best friend would require 3 sets of organs and a computer monitor implanted in the spine.

12. What time of the day is it?
12:37

13. Who/What made you angry today?
Bad drivers.

14. Baseball or Football?
The one that involves violent broken homes and weird awkward conversations in gyms with people I dont know who assume I give a shit about whos going to jail.

15. Ever gone skinny dipping?
Yus

16. Favorite type of Food?
Japanese/Brazillian Steakhouse

17. Favorite holiday:
Thanksgiving

18. Do you download music:
I make music with a washboard and my 3 inch nails

19. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
Nope. As long as they arent wet.

20. Opinion of Chinese symbol tattoos?
No

21. Would you date the person who posted this?
I do as a matter of fact.

22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?
No. Thank Chtulhu

23. Do you love anyone?
Mario and Luigi double teamed me outside of the radioshack and I've never gotten my heart back :[

24. Are colored contact lenses sexy?
Sometimes!

25. Have you ever bungee jumped?
No but thatd be cool probably

26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting?
I dont remember haha

27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you
Probably theres a fine line between just being creepy and hitting on people.

28. How many pets do you have?
I have a dead snake in my apartment somewhere in all likeliehood.

29. Have you met a real redneck?
have you met my illegitimate daughter?

30. How is the weather right now?
How is being a douche?

31. What are you listening to right now?
Lovers in Japan

32. What is your current favorite song?
Anthems Of A Seventeen Year Old Girl

33. What was the last movie you watched?
Ali G on Comedy Central. I was dissapointed : /

34. Do you wear contacts?
Nosir

35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?
Katrina's house to drop her off.

36. What are you afraid of?
Trans fat, huge wigs, and relational databases

37. How many piercings have you had?
One in the middle column of my vertibrae

38. What piercings do you want?
One in the column above that or something I dont know shutup

39. What's one thing you've learned this year?
I'm a jerk but I make up for it by being awesome

40. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Venti Coffee

41. What Magazines are you reading?
The ones in the bathroom at work about business and being all businessy which is because the person who buys them is the ceo but there is tech stuff in them sometimes

42. Have you ever fired a gun:
Yar. A pp[number] if I recall and a magnum.

43. Are you missing someone?
Sure always. Im human

44. Favorite TV show?
Wondershowzen probly

45. Do you have an obession with WoW?
Yes indeed. t7 shoulder ftw :[ :[ :[

46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb?
yeas. Everyone does though bc there are ugly celebs too cmon.

47. What celeb do you look like?
Ive heard syslvester stallone a good bit

48. Who would you like to see right now?
Lots of people!

49. Favorite movie of all time?
gotta gimme a genre

50. Do you find yourself loved?
By men in santa suits :[

51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't suppose to?
Sure

52. Favorite smell?
Cocoa Puffs or Fruit Loops

53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn?
salt

54. What's something that really bugs you?
humans.

55. Do you like Michael Jackson?
Does anyone reaaally still like him? really?

56. Taco Bell or Burger King?
neither. HAVE YOU SEEN LIPEMIC BLOOD?

57. What's your favorite perfume?
Compost and rat brain

58. Favorite baseball team?
Uhh uhhh... uhh... the one with the bird related mascot?

59. Ever call a 1-900 phone number?
for prank calls at an age where i did not understand very much.

60. What's the longest time you've gone without sleep?
bout 3 days. Also eating. then i ate thai and shat my pants and took a shower and slept a whole day. true story.

61. Last time you went bowling?
not long ago enough

62. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
The loving arms of your grandfather

63. Who was your last phone call?
Heather called me to update her website and discussage things

64. Last time you were at work?
Friday, did work last night but at home :o

65. What's the closest orange object to you?
my donut douche shirt

long questions.

Have you ever written a whole novel out of boredom?: Yes, it was called "Alexander: My journey in pretending to like fat chicks"
Do you like the new James Bond theme song?: I like it in a box locked away from anything that loves it. Oh wait james bond sorry i thought you said my girlfriend
Do you have anyone five years or older than you who is crushing on you?: Probably. Probably a guy too.
Have you ever been paddled at school before?: gross
Do you ever sing randomly just because of your emotions?: yea its 90% 'love fool' by the cardiganns (and 5% binary beeps)
Have you ever written a song for anyone?: Technically. It was like a www.rhymezone.com blowjob though.
Do you have to sleep with a night-light because of your fears?: No, because if I unplug it the guy who sleeps standing up in a corner of my room starts shreiking (hes afraid of the dark)
Have you ever watched a scary movie, and been scared a week later?: Jawbreaker chills my soul to this day
Ever had a weird craving and the next day, didn't have it anymore?: Doing stupid omline surveys yea
Do you hate people with bad grammar?: noe that's stupid your stupid
How many times daily do you get on MySpace, Facebook, etc.?: two maybe?
Do you make sure that you use the right words when you talk?: nope. I mostly jump mumble thoughts and hope its coherent and if its not i just get silent then akwardly try to look pretty to make up for it, it work except at work
When you talk to someone, do you look them straight in the eye?: yes but i look away in 5 second intervals so they dont get wiered out.
Ever been bitten by a spider before? If so, what kind?: lvl 58 rape spider in azeroth
Have you ever been obsessed with a television show before?: Heroes used to rule my butts but now I just kind of leave the tv on to make the lonliness die away :[ :[
Do you think you're going to heaven or hell?: I think I'm going to a giant bowl filled with champagne and banana slices why the hell not.
Does the thought of eternal life excite you?: Awww yea man nothing is more exciting then in all eventuality becoming a cold motionless singluarity in an ever expanding silent void of a universe. awwwwww yeaaaa
Have you ever been told you were thought-provoked?: huh?
Have you ever fantasized about someone during school?: On wednesdays at lausanne i used to imagine a predator with a lightsaber beheading our headmaster
Do you consider yourself provokative?: stop it you
Have you ever listened to Anon by Capitol K?: no
Do you think any of your friends are just regularly creepy?: I think my friends are also in a box kept safe from all positive emotions :{
Do you talk with a lisp or know anyone who does?: I know a few people :o
Do you know anyone who has had cancer before?: What a crazy kooky question that one is an uplifter yesir.
How many times have you thought about suicide, seriously?: Modern suicide is like a joke. The stoics would straight pee in ya'lls suicide
Do you call yourself fat on a regular basis?: At least 4 times daily or I WILL NEVER EVER GET A DATE TO PROM
Do you sleep with one leg out from under the covers?: sometimes?
Do you have any freakishly tall friends?: No. Once they get taller than 6'4 they are dead to me
What about freakishly short?: Kanye west jr is only 3'6 and is unrelated to kanye west in any sense but i have his soul on a chain
Are you a fan of Broken Social Scene?: huh?
What's your favorite book and why is it your favorite?: Speaker For the Dead. Its basically like science fiction but not about omg space bucks and laser guns, but more about the deeper objective perspectives on sentience I dig.
Do you ever make toast just because you're bored?: omg yes :o then scraped it and threw it away. scraping toast is satisfying
Do you have a problem with PDA's or no?: yus
Personally, do you enjoy having PDA's with your signifigant other?: we have had disscussion about this at length
Have you ever dated someone out of pity before?: YOU >: im sorry bzoink didnt mean it love you
Do any certain television shows' series finales make you cry?: *phhh*
Have you ever wanted to be on The Hills because you love drama?: GROSSER THAN PADDLINGS
Have you ever choked on your food/drink in front of your crush?: probly
Do you know anyone personally who doesn't believe in love?: ME >: (you crushed my heart bzoink :*[ )
Are you more of an outgoing person, or more shy?: uhhh uhhhhhh
How many times daily (estimate), do you use smiley faces on the internet?: 2 or more. hoorj IRC at works
Why do you enjoy taking surveys so much?: *gasp* dont break the 4.5th wall!!!
What is something you want your parents to do differently?: that thing they do that i like so much
Does it make you mad when people dont tell you secrets?: yes
What was your nickname in high school?: Depends on the group. Ill go with gumby

Fill out this survey yourself
Find a different survey
Brought to you by Bzoink

This weekend didnt exist because michael and drew forgot to bring cameras and no pics = didn't happen.

We went to DC, Bush Gardens, Richmond, etc.

I want to plan a vacationish trip with them like to cali or vegas.

I go to vegas in Dec. with my family nayway that will be cool.

I think if I have time tommorow after website shtuff I'ma take a survey and put it here liek good ol times. :o

A couple days ago a 53 year old guy (I know because he told me) approached me and just started talkin to me about stuff. he mummbled and stuttured alot but so do I.

I bake square shaped whole wheat pancakes in my oven and drink about 6 cups of coffee a day.

Michael and Drew are visiting in 3 weeks and that will be awesome.

Me and Katrina are going to make chocolate sushi tommorow it is so a good idea shut your filthy mouth I am brilliant ok.

Work is fun and such.

HELLO MY NAME IS ALEX I AM A LIVEJOURNAL HOW MAY I HELP YOU TODAY

I didn't ever go to the doctor because I was too busy, and in realizing this I diagnosed myself omg who guessed.

So I has job nows. it = Good(Job) and I am learning alot and they are super accomidating to my lack of in depth knowledge of all things computer science since i = Noob().

I am dating a girl and she is pretty and against all odds is not crazy but also is crazy but in the way I require for my deeds with her, which is just lovely.

I move to a good apartment on the 30th and I'm excited bc this one is like a basement dungeon and they want to charge me more than this much nicer apartment is and thats just dumb of them but whatevs.

Its wierd not worrying about small purchases anymore. Like if I want chicken on a stick now I can just get chicken on a stick and not be like "THIS IS EQUAL TO 6 CANS OF TUNA THAT IS 3 DAYS OF SUSTINANCE CAN I REALLY MAKE SUCH A GRAVE SACRIFICE TO MY FOOD BUDGET".

I am getting about 7 hours of sleep a night and it seems ok. I hope its ok.

I downloaded a bunch of music. I think thats part of what I've been missing not just lately but in the last year or so. It used to fuel everything I did to listen to shitty music. I got a cover of Time After Time by Quietdrive and its awesome I want to be at the end of a bad 80s movie and have it play while I dance with my gay lover I MEAN HOT BRUNETTE WITH LONG WAY TOO CURLY HAIR AND SHOULDER PADS SHIT SHIT SHIT.

My GIRLFRIEND is a brunette. So she says...

MY GIRLFRIEND.

BOYFRIEND

GRILLFIEND

THAT GREEN ECTROPLASM STUFF FROM GHOSTBUSTERS

DOGFRIEND

I am so busy all the time still but I get to sit alot and there are no papers or anything so I do feel much better. Real Gyms are scary. Dudes take steroids for rizzle go there. They put huge metal chains and 6 45lb plates on bars and just throw em around and theyre like 7 foot. Its crazies :o I just want to look nice.

I made a pancake. it was very acceptable.

GOODBYE NAME MY TODAY IS LIVEJOURNAL HOW MAY I ALEX AM YOU!

I am going to the doctor tommorow because while driving I get too tired to turn the wheel. At night I'm too tired to sleep. I forget to do things like close doors or respond to questions and working out is about 10x as hard bc every set is a struggle to even start. I am as we speak to tired to stand so im wasting time till frustration can fuel me to the bathroom.

If they are all "NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU OMG YOU ARE HEALTHY AS THE DICKENS KTHXBYE STOP BEING A LIAR" I think I am going to just have to basically let myself die, bc in 2 months I wont be able to move really.

I sound dramatic and I hate it, I just want to be myself again and not being able to do things I like or need to do makes me want to scream.

I haven't posted in forever. Dunno why I am now even really. Got my wisdom teeth out this mornin. You are all lesser beings for complainin so damn much bout it. Its seriously nothing. Like it hurts but its not incapacitating and god awful and prevents you from doing anything except extreme eats.

I have a job interview tommorow. I really want it. And I can actually do the stuff it involves. And I like that stuff. At my current internship I mostly get sad that noone looks at anything they tell me to do that I do :/ On the plus side I taught myself SQL and .NET in that time I spse. Not exactly the hardest things to learn but whutcanyado.

Thursday is my b-day! I'm goin home for the weekend for it and to celebrate exams bein over too for the ifrst summer semester. Should be fun. Hope Katrina decides to go though. I think she'll feel better hanging out w/ me and my sis and goin to the beach and relaxin and eatin good foods than bein sads in her room, but she knows herself best! I trust hers.

Got the free trial of spore and omg its fun. The downloadable full trial version (yea, full trial, its wierd) can be downloaded trommorow! paid my 10$ for it and everythangh! ima make me some crazy beasties and cute thangs.

Really need to go to bed now. Gotta be all there for my interview. I tend to say dumb things if I'm sleepy atall.

Yea I did warn a little back I wasnt going to be writing in this much anymore.

Provided I did get the gumption to write and had the tiem to do so really I would be writing stuff for book I am actually working out now :o :O. But news on that I have decided which character is the main dude. It is wierd. I am pretty sure the beginning is going to start kind of like this but longer when I can fit in the stuff (btw the character is like, uh, well hes like this, its a character, he is supposed to write this way with the matter of fact extra long descriptions etc., there are other parts that read way different though it is wierd ok stop judging me it makes sense later):

When I was six years old I stole a toy truck from a boy playing in a sandbox at a playground. In retrospect I can only imagine the situation seemed unfair to me in some way. If my aversion to extroversion was as powerful then as it is today such an environment could only be comparable to a prison inhabited exclusively by posh monocle and top-hat wearing oil barons who choose to take residence there only so that they might derive a black and hateful delight from watching you watch them put caviar and gold leaf on top of their standard issue brown gravy brown meatloaf hybrid food lump. I do distinctly remember that up to that point I had never asked to go to a playground. I would burn after only an hour in the sun and my mother refused to put sun screen on me because I would frequently vomit on people if they maintained physical contact with my skin for more than a few seconds. I do remember asking for a toy truck though. Now is the point in most conversations where I feign ignorance in defense of my younger self. It is really the only powerful defense for such situations. It is easier for people to think that a six year old only has fanciful outlandish abstractions floating in his skull rather than any thought concerning the awful world that surrounds him. The truth is that I had mostly guessed he would never come back after I choked him till he fell asleep. I was almost sure he was never going to come back. I sincerely believed however, that I would get to keep his truck. I was most regrettably mistaken in this assumption and to this day I lament the loss of a perfectly acceptable plastic yellow truck that was certainly burned in some sort of grieving process. Maybe it’s in a shrine. I don't claim to know. However chances are overwhelming that no one after that day used it to transport sand in an overly complicated manner, and this is truly unfortunate.




Yea, basically that will almost be the first chapter once Ive added meat to it. But kind of gives an idea of what the main dude is like. The next two chapters are respectively his present day happenings, and then a chapter that will read sort of like a dream but I cant really explain bleh.

Guh gotta lseep omg.